Many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone, but knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When that negative inner critic comes to call, turn toward that more positive voice that resides in your head (you know it’s in there somewhere). Splurging on your favorite candle, swapping out throw pillows, finding the right light bulbs, hanging up some artwork, and framing your family photos might be all it takes. While you’re at it, don’t forget to forgive yourself, too. This sounds obvious, I know, but a lot of people are afraid to do things by themselves. If there are items in your room that remind you of a past relationship or if you haven't personalized your new room yet, a redecorating project could be just what you need. It’s what works for you. It's different from feeling stressed and anxious—it's more of an hyper-clear introspection. Instead of offsetting your emotions, try to accept them and actively engage with them by reaching out to someone you trust or putting your thoughts on paper. How Do I Stop Being Jealous of My Friends in Relationships? As a 10-year-old, it was the only time I could passionately (and poorly) belt Les Miserables lyrics. It’s easy to take things for granted as you go about your day. Big outdoor spaces or even just a little corner in the kitchen to keep your homegrown herbs will do. While being alone because of social anxiety might make you feel down, it is possible to figure out how to feel happy alone. But just because the relationship is over or strained doesn't mean that the memories have run off somewhere, disappeared, or that you've lost some essence of yourself. Make a mood-boosting playlist to listen to next time you're down. Do things alone. Prepare a fabulous meal for one. Not by a long shot. As you become more comfortable with the day-to-day aspects of being alone, you can start digging a bit deeper. But it’s easy to rely on devices as a way to avoid being alone with your own thoughts. Imagine you’re trying to impress an actual date and show them a good time. While there’s some overlap between them, they’re completely different concepts. Rather, it happens when I'm feeling unsure and insecure, usually unconsciously. Customizing your living environment to your needs and tastes is also an act of self-love in and of itself. Ironically, "On My Own" was my go-to—though I took projecting seriously, so I'm sure our neighbors felt like they were right there with me. Our guide to options for every budget can help. But for others, being solo is a challenge. Living Alone Is Actually Awesome (Even Science Agrees), What To Do if You're Feeling Alone in a Relationship, Does Online Dating Work? Life has its stressors, and bad things happen. This is also a good time to give yourself some credit. Simply wanting to get better and spending time alone is a perfectly good reason to make an appointment. As you gain confidence, try weight training, aerobics, or sports. Concerned about cost? Join a book club in your area, or start your own by asking around the office. Find interesting things to do and put them on your calendar. Think about your day-to-day routine and immediate surroundings. But being happy alone, despite newfound singledom or any of the aforementioned obstacles, isn't as farfetched as it sounds. But it’s actually a two-way street. Learning your unique strengths and applying them to something greater than yourself (using your amazing carpentry skills to help out Habitat for Humanity, for instance) is shown to improve happiness. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape. Experiment by setting a timer for 5 minutes. People twirl their hair for lots of different reasons. Buy a ticket to a concert or that amazing art exhibit everyone’s talking about. Increase your activity by a minute or two each day. Here Are 5 Ways to Unlearn Your ‘Fawn’ Response. That’s it. Give yourself ample time to see if it’s worth pursuing. If you're not sure why you feel suddenly lonely, it might be because you've lost touch with yourself. Some people are naturally happy alone. But hopefully, once you've gotten in touch with yourself and at least tried to identify the issue, you'll feel calmer and more energized. Researchers find that loneliness ebbs and flows as we age, in relatively predictable ways. I don’t mean in the sense of being single, although I am. After all, anticipation is half the fun. Either way, helping others can make you feel good. But seriously, get outside. You can volunteer in person or help out remotely from home. Start small by sitting in a coffee shop for just 10 minutes. 13 Rules For Being Alone And Being Happy About It. Sometimes it reveals that I've been talking down to myself more than I realize, which might be the crux of the problem. Customizing your living environment to your needs and tastes is also an act of self-love in and of itself since you are creating a space that's conducive to personal growth. They might not transform your life overnight, but they can help you get more comfortable with being alone. “You won’t believe this, but I was just on the phone with a customer who was crying because he couldn’t assemble his bed frame.”. Even a routine that works well can eventually morph into a rut, leaving you uninspired. Where would you take them? Try to take advantage of the physical and mental space that comes with living alone: There are so many ways to volunteer your time in service of others. The fear of loneliness prevents us from deciding in real terms what is really what fills us, makes us happy and satisfied with the human being. Be observant and soak in your surroundings. Call someone you haven’t heard from in a long time and have a meaningful conversation. 9 Deceptively Simple Things I Can’t Do Because Anxiety, 7 Ways We Can Do Better by Suicide Attempt Survivors, Dreamwork 101: Your Wide-Awake Guide to Interpreting Dreams, People-Pleaser? Describe the physical sensations, your new surroundings, and what you miss. There’s no point in ignoring this reality. With some constructive introspection and a lot of work to find meaning without relying on external resources, it's possible, and it's well worth the effort. Writing this down can be helpful in guiding your decisions. Or check in on what that high school acquaintance is up to without even having to talk to them? Next time you’re alone, turn your phone off and stash it away for one hour. What do I want to take with me, and what do I want to let go? Is Twirling Your Hair as a Habit a Symptom of an Underlying Condition? What do you need to do to accomplish those goals? It’s important to find something that feels right to you. Not sure what to do? But being happy alone, despite newfound singledom or any of the aforementioned obstacles, isn't as farfetched as it sounds. When You Feel Alone in a Crowded Room: Sometimes when we get in a funk, we assume that our closest friends or fun activities will bring us out of it. If you’re new to exercise, start with just a few minutes a day, even if it’s just morning stretches. Think about how you can use that same mindset to cope with events that are happening now. Lounge in the backyard, take a walk in the park, or hang out by the water. If you've always felt that you needed a partner to be happy, then it might be hard for you to fathom actually enjoying the single life. Add to them and shape them along the way to suit your own lifestyle and personality. 1. You’re probably a lot stronger and more resilient than you realize. Use this time to reconnect with yourself and explore what it feels like to be truly alone. Find a league in your area, or become a coach for a kid's team. Set the table, use a cloth napkin, light a candle, and do whatever you would do if you were throwing a dinner party. I also love decorating and styling, so I was neglecting a big part of myself. We'll break down 25 science-backed habits to help you get you mood on track. The point is to try something new and different, to take a step outside your comfort zone. Happiness can feel impossible, but it's always within reach. In the moment, creating a little sanctuary will occupy your mind and body, and long-term, it'll be an oasis that soothes and comforts you, which is essential to being happy on your own and surrounded by others. Loved playing team sports when you were younger? If the first thing you try doesn’t work out, it’s perfectly reasonable to move on and look for something else. 15 Ways to Be Happy Alone and Live a Full Life 1. Freshen things up. Is anybody really alone when they can pick up their phone and text or call just about anyone? There’s nothing wrong with that, but close social connections are still important. Feel the breeze on your face. And keeping your bathroom fresh and tidy never hurts. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. What does forgiveness have to do with your happiness? Absorb the sights, sounds, and smells of nature. We forget, too often, that some of us are on the other side of a suicide attempt and need support. If you don’t like it, you can at least cross it off your list and move on to something else. Introverts (those who get their energy from being alone) and individuals who have anxiety about social situations can improve their ability to be happy when alone by thinking more positively about relationships and the idea of being alone. Forgiveness can take a load off your mind. That’s a skill worth continuing to develop. If you’re not sure, take a shot at it. You could write a novel or self-help book and self-publish it on Amazon, start a blog about a topic that fascinates you, go the the park and paint a landscape to hang on your wall, or learn a new language, like German or Spanish. Get involved in a cause that you care about, whether that means becoming more informed and spreading the word or getting out and volunteering. Not sure how to pass the time? Grab a pen and notepad, and jot down things you might enjoy doing the next time you find yourself alone. Consider how you coped then and why that worked. Rearrange your furniture or paint a wall. With some constructive introspection and a lot of work to find meaning without relying on external resources, it's possible, and it's well worth the effort. Take on a home improvement project. With time, your mind will get used to this new freedom. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Attend a local festival or farmers market. 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